


Her.

by Punish_Me_Frank_Castle



Category: Avengers (Comics), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-04-05 10:43:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14042520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Punish_Me_Frank_Castle/pseuds/Punish_Me_Frank_Castle
Summary: They say time heals everything, but Tony is still more broken than ever.





	1. Chapter 1

Tony sat at his bar in Avengers tower nursing his sixth scotch. He didn’t even know if he could call it Avengers Tower anymore since the Avengers were no longer together. He took another sip of his drink and sighed. He had been trying to do the right thing, what he had thought was right. He was trying to be a good man, a better man, but somehow everything he did backfired.

He created Ultron in the hopes of world peace, and that went just peachy, not. Then the accords happened, something he had tried to get ahead of. It made sense to him, voluntary accept restrictions before they were forced upon you. But Tony had changed. Two years ago he would have been with Capsicle, telling the government to go to hell in a hand basket; but a lot had changed in two years. She had gone.

Tony sighed again looking down into his empty glass. The grief hit him like a truck. Had it really been two whole years? Two years since he had held her, had kissed her good morning? It had been two years since Killian had taken her from him. He grabbed the bottle of amber colored liquid and took a swig; there was no point in using the glass anymore, he was going to drink it all anyways. He knew he couldn’t drown his sorrows in booze, but damn he was going to try.

Tony held his head in his hands. When he closed his eyes he could still see her face. He could hear her laugh in his head. When he closed his eyes it was like Extremis had never happened. But sometimes at night, when he was alone in their—no— his bed when all those peaceful images were ripped from him. All he saw was fire, he felt the heat on his skin. His nightmares trapped him in the worst day of his life over and over again. It was like he was back there all over again, watching her fall, arms outstretched. Every single time he wasn’t fast enough, he was never fast enough. She was falling and he was screaming her name. The screaming usually woke him up, if he was lucky.

He had nothing left of her. Everything was destroyed when Killian had bombed their house, all except one thing: JARVIS. She had been brilliant, more brilliant than Tony had ever been. She was there in his early days, when having personal artificial intelligence was just a funny idea they cooked up. Until for his birthday that year she handed him the original coding as a gift. After Miami, he had clung to JARVIS like he never had before, uploaded him into everything, he was surrounded by his presence. 

JARVIS was a piece of her, and therefore he always had a small part of her with him still. And that one last piece had kept him going. But even now JARVIS was gone and with him that last piece of the love of his life. Vision was JARVIS but not really. Sure, he had the voice and the intelligence, but he wasn’t the AI he once was. The android would never be the same being that had come from that original coding, from her brilliant mind. And as if the Android could sense Tony’s thoughts he appeared into the room.

“Tony, you must sleep. You haven’t slept in 72 hours and 13 minutes.” Vision said concerned.

Tony rolled his eyes. “I can’t sleep. I can’t deal with the nightmares.”

Vision sighed and floated next the the drunk billionaire. “I miss her too Tony.”

Tony’s head snapped up as he heard the Android’s response. He then quickly shut his eyes as the room spun. When he felt the nausea pass he studied Vision quizzically. “You remember her?”

The android frowned as he tried to find the words to describe his feelings. “I do not remember specifics. I just recall the feeling of her presence. A warm light in my programing, one that even Ultron could not destroy when I was the AI you called JARVIS.”

Tony turned back to the bottle on the bar, swallowing the last bit of alcohol. “She was a light, the light of my life.” he mumbled to himself.

“She was rather brilliant.” the android said, either not hearing Tony’s last comment or electing to ignore it. “I do not believe this is the way she would want you to cope.”

Tony stood up frustrated. He wouldn’t sit here and listen to Vision lecture him on what she would a have wanted. 

“What do you know?” he asked vehemently.

“I may not remember her but what I have learned in my short time of existence is that when one person loves another, they want the best for them, and this—“ Vision gestured to Tony’s drunken and sleep deprived state”—is not your best.”

“Get out.” Tony commanded trying to control the anger surging through him. 

The Android left silently not bothering to argue with Tony in the state he was in.

Tony knew the android was right, this wasn’t his best, far from it. But how could he be his best when his best was always when he was with her? He had been trying to be the man she had deserved. And he had failed, so many times. 

Trying hurt, plain and simple. Drinking didn’t hurt, drinking numbed the pain, silenced the nightmares. Tony grabbed another bottle of scotch off the shelf, opening it and taking a swig. The liquid burned his throat. 

Maybe he would try again, but it wouldn’t be tonight.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is more of a Chapter 1.5 than Chapter 2. Currently thinking up ways on how I’m gonna continue this. Anyways, enjoy!

She was there again. In his dreams, his nightmares. She was strapped to a chair in a white room, tear tracks running down her face. He studied her, she hadn't looked up yet, hadn't yet noticed that tony was there with her. Fuck he wished that this was real, that he could be with her, no matter the circumstances.

 

Her had snapped up then, her eyes glazed over. She was looking at him, but it was more like she was looking through him.

 

"Help me." She pleaded. The tears started up again.

 

Tony hated seeing her cry. Hated that he couldn't do anything to stop it.

 

She always repeated it. Over and over and over again, "Help me.".

 

The room started to shake, Tony could hear her screaming, blood curdling screams but she was never actually screaming. It was just a soundtrack being played in his mind.

 

Usually this was about the time Tony would start awake, clammy and sick to his stomach, sometimes he'd already be crying, sometimes the crying wouldn't start till after he gained consciousness.

 

But this dream was different. The screaming stopped, the shaking was still happening, but not as violently, her eyes focused on him, glowing orange.

 

"Wake up! Help me, Tony! WAKE UP!" She screamed.

 

Tony shot out of bed, his breathing erratic. The room was spinning, his sudden movement sent his blood pressure plummeting, or maybe it was all the scotch he drank some hours before. He put his head between his knees, hoping it would help stop the room from spinning.

 

Once his breathing calmed and his head stopped pounding what had just happened finally hit him. It had been different this time. In the twenty four months since she had been taken away from him, it had never changed.

 

Why was it different this time? It meant something, it had to. He felt it in his gut, this sudden change meant something. Maybe, just maybe it was a sign. Maybe she wasn’t gone. He didn’t dare get his hopes up but the thought nagged at him enough for him to get out of bed.

 

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.”

 

“Yes Boss?”

 

“We’ve got work to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought? Suggestions? Let me know! :)

**Author's Note:**

> Does this need a part 2? Does anyone want me to continue this? Let me know what you think! Wanna leave feedback or request something? Leave a comment! :)


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